1. I knew you guys wouldn’t believe me.

    I wasn’t just lounging around in that photo. Not shown was my notebook bulging with wonderful words. Over-fucking-flowing with brilliant sentences. Packed to the gills with paragraphs of heart-stopping beauty and crystalline insight. A story of such depth and complexity that OK I was slightly drunk and had written a couple of pages which I’m unable to read today because my handwriting got a little, um, inventive.

    I love being a writer.