1. Adventures in helpfulness

    “But I don’t WANT to kill the dragon!” [pouts]

    “Whoa, I love those fur boots. They’re way nicer than Uggs, I’d totally wear them round Brighton.”

    “Why does someone want to assassinate you? Assassinate them right back. Up the bum. ASSassinate! Geddit?!”

    “Ooh, are you getting that horse? What? Why not?! Look, it’s BEAUTIFUL, all black with furry feet. Buy the damn horse!”


    (I’m the most helpful adventuring sidekick you could have.)