"The fuck is this?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, Norm, the fuck is this?"
"It’s parachute silk, Carl."
"I can see it’s parachute sillk. I can see that very well. I can also feel that very well. It feels lovely."
"OK, Carl. I’m glad you like it."
"Did I say I liked it? No. I said it feels lovely. I never said I liked it."
"Uh, OK. What seems to be the problem then?"
"What the fuck kind of a colour do you call this?"
"It’s white, Carl."
"Yes. It’s white. Do I look like I’m getting married?"
"Uh, no but…we’re all wearing white. We all have to. It’s just…"
"It’s just nothing Norm. I don’t fucking care what it’s just. I asked for the silk and I got it. That’s great. What colour did I request though, Norm? Do you even remember?"
"I belive it was ‘teal’ Carl. But like I said, we all wear white cotton and I managed to persuade them on the silk but the colour isn’t something we can just…"
"Teal, Norm. Teal. A dark, smoky blue-green. Something akin to turquoise but not so gaudy and vulgar. Do you think me gaudy and vulgar, Norm?”
"Look here, Carl, I never…"
"OK, FINE. Forget the teal silk. Can you at least get me the rhinestones I specifically asked for? Did you at least manage to do that, Norm?"
"Actually, rhinestones would look pretty good on the white silk, Carl."
"Exactly. I’m glad you’re seeing that finally. One final thing. Where’s Randy? Randy! RANDY! Get over here and bring those peacock feathers with you!"
Previously: Suits you, Sir
Previously previously: Everything was sparkly and nothing was drab
(image via Library of Congress photostream)