I was with her, had been sleeping in her room at the hospice. The nurse woke me gently at 1:10, saying “I think she’s going”. I held mum as she took her last gasping breaths. Heart-breaking. Nothing I could do but hold her shoulders and whisper “It’s OK mama, it’s OK”. Her eyes wide open, staring at something, nothing. Surprised, it seemed. Such a tiny frail and shrunken body. My mama. And then she just stopped. Gone. It was horrifying. I’m still in shock. I feel as though I’m in a dream. I feel relieved. I feel shattered. I feel nothing. All of this. I don’t know.